Mock the Auto-Announcer game
- Thread starter Wessex_Electric_Nutter
- Start date
Another one
Bingly Bangly Bongly bleep " The central trains service trying to leave platform 2 may or may not because the driver is tossing a coin over whether the brakes will turn off. This the 18:44 service to no where in paticular and stopping at anywhere the driver feels like. This could be, London Victoria, Milton Keynes, some stations in the middle of no-where or York. If the driver does not stop at your station arrange with your conducter to stop there. Oh no I have just heard that there will not be a conductor because we can not afford one. By the way, look at all the people on the 5-star luxury train leaving platform 3. Your seats will be made from paper in order to , most importantly, make you journey as uncomfortable as possible and to save money. Thank you once again for travelling on the noisy, uncomfortable and slow diesel we should of scrapped aes ago. Bye "
Uracco
Bingly Bangly Bongly bleep " The central trains service trying to leave platform 2 may or may not because the driver is tossing a coin over whether the brakes will turn off. This the 18:44 service to no where in paticular and stopping at anywhere the driver feels like. This could be, London Victoria, Milton Keynes, some stations in the middle of no-where or York. If the driver does not stop at your station arrange with your conducter to stop there. Oh no I have just heard that there will not be a conductor because we can not afford one. By the way, look at all the people on the 5-star luxury train leaving platform 3. Your seats will be made from paper in order to , most importantly, make you journey as uncomfortable as possible and to save money. Thank you once again for travelling on the noisy, uncomfortable and slow diesel we should of scrapped aes ago. Bye "
Uracco
Steamdemon
Pizza Delivery Train
'ding' Passengers should stay on the platform at all times until your train arrives. Standing on the railway track is prohibited and is classed as trespassing. You will be chased by the Fat Controller who yells 'this causes confusion and delay' at you if you do. Thank you.
Steamdemon
Pizza Delivery Train
'ding' The train from Ashton to Natsville has been cancelled due to a nasty accident caused by an idiot who forgot to put buffers at the end of the line. The families of those who have died in the accident will be contacted immediately. Thank you.
or...
The train from Kent to Sussex has been delayed due to dewdrops on the line. We are sorry for the inconvenience.
or...
The train from Kent to Sussex has been delayed due to dewdrops on the line. We are sorry for the inconvenience.
Retro00064
New member
Uhh, how about this?:
Ding!--Ding!--Ding!--"Attention Passengers: To-day is a steaming hot summer day. We have been alerted that the train will be passing by some gardens that have been composted with fresh horse apples. Please put on some dust masks to help aleviate the smell, as we are unable to shut down the air conditioners at this time. Thank you for your co-operation."
Enjoy this little fictional funny from me. :hehe: I think that some places really have used some sort of poo compost to compost small areas in real life around shopping centers, etc., and I will tell you, it stinks.
Regards.
Ding!--Ding!--Ding!--"Attention Passengers: To-day is a steaming hot summer day. We have been alerted that the train will be passing by some gardens that have been composted with fresh horse apples. Please put on some dust masks to help aleviate the smell, as we are unable to shut down the air conditioners at this time. Thank you for your co-operation."
Enjoy this little fictional funny from me. :hehe: I think that some places really have used some sort of poo compost to compost small areas in real life around shopping centers, etc., and I will tell you, it stinks.
Regards.
Queensland's Auto Announcer
When you get a boofhead guard...
Auto Announcer: "The next station is Northgate...any passengers for the Shorncliffe line please change here.'
Guard: "Uhhh, passengers the next station is Lindum. The computer thinks it's 1982, so I assure you the next station is Lindum"
When you get a boofhead guard...
Auto Announcer: "The next station is Northgate...any passengers for the Shorncliffe line please change here.'
Guard: "Uhhh, passengers the next station is Lindum. The computer thinks it's 1982, so I assure you the next station is Lindum"
Scratchlight
New member
heres one
Bells ->*Ding ding ding ding* - (rising in pitch). We are sorry to announce that the 10:30 southern service to Hastings is not delayed. We are sorry for any happiness this may bring you.
Bells ->*Ding ding ding ding* - (rising in pitch). We are sorry to announce that the 10:30 southern service to Hastings is not delayed. We are sorry for any happiness this may bring you.
Scratchlight
New member
a better one
This train is the 7:30 london midland service to, somewhere not in the London Midlands area. This train is calling at: Crewe, manchester, crewe again, manchester victoria, york, brighton, haymarket depot, shanklin, plymouth and cardiff. Passengers for york should alight at victoria as the station has been blown up when a class 455's third rail gear failed. (typical). Passengers for shanklin should join the first 5 coaches of the train. this is coach 10 of 1. The other 9 coaches fell of the forth bridge and are now operating un refurbished for northern. Anyway, the toilets are under the train if anyone needs them and a catering service is available on the roof.
Long winded i know
This train is the 7:30 london midland service to, somewhere not in the London Midlands area. This train is calling at: Crewe, manchester, crewe again, manchester victoria, york, brighton, haymarket depot, shanklin, plymouth and cardiff. Passengers for york should alight at victoria as the station has been blown up when a class 455's third rail gear failed. (typical). Passengers for shanklin should join the first 5 coaches of the train. this is coach 10 of 1. The other 9 coaches fell of the forth bridge and are now operating un refurbished for northern. Anyway, the toilets are under the train if anyone needs them and a catering service is available on the roof.
Long winded i know
TheWaluigiKing
Trainz Ninja
Have a look at this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUGqT5QHMlA&feature=related It's not mine but it's funny!:hehe:
*Bing Bong* Due To a fail with the Class 139, the 10:00 service will be the 10:10 express to Stourbridge Town. Please note that the first 15 cars of this bullet train will Not fit in any platform on this line. The service time is expected to be 00:00.30 seconds on the train, and 00:01.30 mins running to the front. That is all. *Bong Bing*
:hehe: Ahh England!:hehe:
:hehe: Ahh England!:hehe:
At Milton Keynes- Bing Bing Bong- "Virgin would like to apologise for the delays and cancellations caused by an ever so slightly de-railed class 90 unit at bletchley and about 100 men trying to weld a single set of points together. Please allow up to 200mins on all Virgin and London Midland services. Thank you"
Steamdemon
Pizza Delivery Train
Attention, this is your driver, Steamdemon speaking. Due to snow on the rails, and the fact that the idiots at Network Rail haven't equipped the locomotive with snowploughs, the journey is cancelled. Sorry for the **** up.
Ooh, I have another one!
*usual 'ding dong' followed by the chicken dance theme* Attention. All services are cancelled due to Network Rail refusing to clear the snow from the railway tracks due to 'health and safety'. We have dispatched a very angry Fat Controller to yell at Network Rail for causing immense 'confusion and delay'. He will then proceed to bite their faces off. Again, we are sorry for the inconvenience.
Ooh, I have another one!
*usual 'ding dong' followed by the chicken dance theme* Attention. All services are cancelled due to Network Rail refusing to clear the snow from the railway tracks due to 'health and safety'. We have dispatched a very angry Fat Controller to yell at Network Rail for causing immense 'confusion and delay'. He will then proceed to bite their faces off. Again, we are sorry for the inconvenience.
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