Mock the Auto-Announcer game

a slightly different take of the "Station Name Game (UK)" but I thought, why not put it into auto-announcers? There are 2 ways to play this game.

The first way is the bland and boring way. You start off with an auto-announcer, the origin has to match the destination of the previous post, so if the train's final destination is "Stannmore" from the previous post, the start would be "Stannmore'. For durability, we can safely assume that the train will be a 2-car 150 to start with. From origin to destination, you need to add a "Calling at" bit, so you can have any amount of stations between the origin and destination. Heck, you can have a Via bit if you want.

For those are wondering, there is no restriction to where the train can go, so it can be completely random, but please, keep it logical where possible. E.g. trains can''t reverse at Wembly Central if you are going from St Albans Abbey to Watford via Wembly.

If you want to combine trains, you have to add where it combines and the next poster has to combine the train at that station and repeat the stations from the station the train combines at to either where it divides or where it terminates. For simplicity, lets just keep it as a multiple of 2. So 2 cars attaches to another 2 cars, to another 2 cars, etc.

If the poster wishes to, the poster can divide the train and specify which cars will go where.

Finally, the format. The bits in quotes are what you need to start with, e.g.

"This train is the" (insert company here) "to" (insert station here) (Via optional) "Calling at:" (list station) "where this train divides" (station), "Passengers for" (list) "should join the" (position, front, mid, rear and car no.), (as previously, but for the second destination)
(Italics is optional)

You can add other announcements too, like no smoking, short platforms, etc.

E.g.
This train is the Southern Service to Portsmouth Harbour and Southampton Central via Eastleigh, calling at Ford, Barnham, Chichester, Havant where this train divides.
Passengers for Fareham, Eastleigh and Southampton Central should join the front 2 coaches. Passengers for Fratton, Portsmouth & Southsea and Portsmouth Harbour, should join the rear 2 coaches of this train.
This is coach 2 of 4.



If you want to play the other way, the fun way, all you need to do, is add something random and funny that the auto-announcer could say. E.g.
"Would passengers please note that smoking is only permitted outside the train, if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em"
(You can also mix and match the announcements)

Lets start:

"This train is the Arriva Trains Wales service to Crewe, Calling at Bangor, Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, Llandudno Junction, Flint, Chester and Crewe. This is coach 2 of 2."
"We're sorry, but there are no catering facilities available on this service as the catering company has gone on strike."
 
Arghh....CrossCountry staff!

I think I'll join in WEN.....

"The train at platform 1 is the Virgin West Coast service to London Euston, callaing at: Stafford, Birmingham New Street, Watford Junction and London Euston. Please look out for suspicous customers in CrossCountry uniforms as that might take over the rest of our railways and your train"

Does the train have to divide....I wouldn't want to split a Pendo in half....

Hope I got this right....
 
I think I'll join in WEN.....

"The train at platform 1 is the Virgin West Coast service to London Euston, callaing at: Stafford, Birmingham New Street, Watford Junction and London Euston. Please look out for suspicous customers in CrossCountry uniforms as that might take over the rest of our railways and your train"

Does the train have to divide....I wouldn't want to split a Pendo in half....

Hope I got this right....

Nope, its optional :) I was assuming 2-car 150, as it'll be the same train traveling the network, so it had to be anywhere capabilities. It would also need to be an onboard announcement (sorry I didn't make that clear to begin with).
 
Bing bing bong! (indecipherable echoey voice) "This is London Euston. Welcome to London Euston. The train standing at platform 4 is the sleeper service to Fort William. Calling at Nuneaton, Rugby, Birmingham New Street, Stafford, Crewe, Warrington Bank Quay, Wigan North Western, Preston, Lancaster, Carlisle, Glasgow Central and Fort William. Will passengers please note that the sleeper carriages are not for sleeping in, and we have endeavoured to make your journey as uncomfortable as possible. Thank you"

Best wishes,
Padster
 
(muffly yelly voice)This is the <garbled> Newcastle. It will be stopping at every station conceivably possible in order to make your journey as annoying as possible. Please note the only working lavatory is in the first car of the train.
 
Here's mine(bear in mind, I'm American, and I've never really heard the PA systems over there)....


(Ding-Dong) "Ladies and Gentlemen, the 12:50 Arriva CrossCountry is sitting on siding 3. The driver is having a tea break, so there is a 25 minute delay. We aren't sorry for the inconvenice, and it certainly serves you right..... and our customer service centre is not going to process your complaint because your just downright ugly".... (Someone throws a stone at the loudspeaker)


Just a thought....

Isaac
 
Here's mine(bear in mind, I'm American, and I've never really heard the PA systems over there)....


(Ding-Dong) "Ladies and Gentlemen, the 12:50 Arriva CrossCountry is sitting on siding 3. The driver is having a tea break, so there is a 25 minute delay. We aren't sorry for the inconvenice, and it certainly serves you right..... and our customer service centre is not going to process your complaint because your just downright ugly".... (Someone throws a stone at the loudspeaker)


Just a thought....

Isaac

Pretty accurate!
 
The Yellow zones is for short term parking only. The White Zones is for emergency vehicles ONLY.

Sorry I just HAD too :P

peter
 
(Ding-Dong) "This train is the Amtrak No. 1313 to Penn Station via London St. Pancras, Dover, and Philadelphia , Passengers for Washingto D.C. should join the last car. No, we don't know how the train got across the Atlantic, and there will be a short delay as the reduced clearances have significantly decreased the capacity of the coaches."
 
♪♪Bing Ding Dong♪♪This is the East bound Trans-Atlantic Express. Connecting New York City and London. All Passengers wanting to get to Tokyo must go to the other side of the country. This is a Dinner train. Your appetizers will commence once the doors close, the salad will begin as the train crosses the Sohm Plain. Your main course will be served over the Mid-Atlantic Ridge, and Dessert will begin on the Biscay Plain off the coast of France. British Customs and Immigration will be done in the London Trans-Atlantic Express Terminal. Enjoy your meal.

peter
 
I heard this the other day in Ingelheim. A bit of a background is needed to fully understand what happened. The dispatcher in Ingelheim is from East Germany, as a result he speaks in a nearly incomprehensible accent which I find to be incredibly hilarious. I should also note that in Germany for the vast majority of stations, the dispatcher does the station announcements on the intercom.

*click* Ladies and gentlemen on Track 4 (we don't use platform over here) RE 12359 to Frankfurt Hbf via Mainz Hbf and Frankfurt Flughafen Regionalbahnhof will soon be entering the station, please take care upon entry. *forgets to put phone back on hook* (in the background from a radio somewhere in the signalbox) "Sweet home Alabama! Where the skies are all blue" Indecipherable mumbling *click*.

WileeCoyote:D
 
WilleeCoyote,

My information is that there is a language called "Ingelheimer" - it's incomprehensible to anyone who speaks normal German....

Certainly my friends in Ingelheim (from other regions/Lander/countries) have problems with it.
A friend's daughter came home & used the expression "Sharbe" (as close as I can write it). The translation is "Ich harbe".

To return to the thread, I stil reckon the biggest problem is for the London based staff (most of ethnic origin) trying to manage the station names beyond Glasgow or Edinburgh. Perth is ok, but Kingussie, Gleneagles, Ardlui, Arrochar & Tarbet, Crianlarich are a problem.

Colin
 
here is mine.

Welcome aboard this southern Service to Brighton calling at Portsmouth & Southsea, Fratton, Bedhampton, Havant, Warblington, Ermsworth, Southbourne, Nutbourne, Bosham, Fishbourne, Chichester, Barnahm, Ford, Angmering, Goring-by-sea, Durrington-by-Sea, West Worthing, Worthing, East Worthing & every other garden gate to Brighton. You are in coach 6 of 4. Please note there is no smoking allowed on any Southern Servicves and this does include the non opening windows. Also there is a special announcment for this service Wessex Electrics are not to be conveyed on this train. Have a safe journey now Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
 
Here goes...............

Welcome onboard the 12:25 National Express East Anglia service to, Stansted Airport. We will be calling at Tottenham Hale, Bishop Stortford, Stansted Mountfitchet and, Stansted Airport. Please note due to train upgrades the seats have been removed from this service. Passengers for all stations to Stansted Airport should have got onboard the Stansted Express service 2 minutes ago.
Please note that delays are possible due to a workman being trapped beneath a train just outside Liverpool Street.
A trolley service is avalible on this train.

I think that's quite good.:wave:
 
"This train is the No names service to Winchester, calling at Medstead & Four Marks, Ropley and Alresford where this train divides. Passengers for Itchen Abbas and Winchester are advised to join a bus. Passengers for a dead end, join the rear 2 coaches. Passengers willing to travel the way they came in reverse, are strongly advised to travel in the front 2 coaches. This train is formed of 12 coaches."

Later...


"Due to a point defect, this train will now be derailing at Ropley, this train terminates at "NO MANS LAND"."
 
Welcome aboard the nutjobs train to fruitloop central on this train you will find Auran Games PLC, George Bush and Gordan Brown. If you are sane then you are advised to get the train behind us if you fit into the fruitloop catagory stay on board and get fitted for your snugg fitting jacket ;)
 
"*Bing bong!* Platform 2 for the First Great Western service for Truro that should have left three and a half hours ago. We are not at all sorry to announce that the catering company are all on strike and the aircon on this train can be toggled between "off" and "off". Passengers are reminded that the driver may stop the train to watch a football match on TV, or log into the internet and look at unsavoury images. This train is formed of two coaches."
 
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Herer's one from many years ago at Birmingham New Street, Sunday evening..just before the pubs closed.

"The train for Plymouth/Penzance.. due to arrive on platform 12 is now scheduled to arrive on platform 1 but if your a Serviceman waiting to go back to your depot, you have just missed it because I couldnt be ar**ed to announce that the train was early "....."it left 10 minutes ago ......"

thats a true one .... i WAS a serviceman waiting to go back .....lol

Saddest thing of all is one week later the IRA set a bomb off just outside the station
 
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