When it rains, it pours.

[AFdude06]

Sometimes it feels like we're being punished. This mess actually started last year and it hasn't ended yet.

My father turned 90 on December 1st and said to me that he wasn't going to live much longer. He was going blind, felt as if he was losing his mind, wasn't eating as much and had some odd behaviors including hallucinations. I had scheduled a neurology appointment but he never made it.

Shortly after Christmas, his legs swelled due to not elevating his legs as his GP directed and the blisters got infected and required treatment. After consulting his GP, I was told to take him to the emergency room (A&E) instead. He was admitted, much to his chagrin, where he stayed for a week. My brother and I drove 10 miles each way multiple times a day and saw him resist treatment and fight the nurses. He went as far as to throw his food, pull out intravenous needles, and refuse his normal medication. They released him and sent him to a nearby rest home and rehabilitation center to gain strength enough to come home, sadly he didn't make it.

While at the rest home, he contracted Covid-19, ended up back at another hospital for 5-days and returned to the rehabilitation center to continue to get strong enough to come home. Again, he refused to eat and threw his mediation around.

On February 22nd, he Facetimed with my sister, who was in the hospital due to an ongoing sepsis infection. She passed that afternoon. We had to tell him because if he came home, he would've looked for her and we would have to tell him anyway. After that, he closed his eyes and kept saying both girls are gone - we lost another sister in 2017, and that was it. He passed away on February 1st after not eating or drinking for the prior week.

It's been one horrible mess that never ends. My sister's ex-husband absconded shortly after their marriage. My niece, who just turned 18, had to sign the papers for her mother's care, can't retrieve her from the hospital because Ex-hubby is still the next of kin. Contacting Ex-hubby has been a fruitless effort so far, so my sister is stuck in limbo.

Let's hope after this elephant-sized hump is out of the way, things fall into a near-normal routine again.

I'm so sorry for the losses you have gone through John. Prayers that your neice will be able to get her mother out of the hospital.

God bless you.

 

[JCitron]

I'm so sorry for the losses you have gone through John. Prayers that your neice will be able to get her mother out of the hospital.

God bless you.

Thank you, Tony.

We're working on it for her and some progress has been made. The dolt has been located so now it's up to him to do the right thing for a change. He's not the brightest creature, if you know what I mean.

 

[UnumProvident155]

I am sorry about your loss

 

[UnumProvident155]

my granddad passed away on January 20th from type A flu and double pneumonia and it hasn't been easy on my mom
my granddad was 94

he was in the hospital since December 26th and came home on January 17

 

[jjeff1955]

Hello John my friend I know what you are going thru, just recently in the last few days I almost lost my Brother and Sister at the same time.
My Sister had gotten a Colon infection that was very serious and had caused her into a temporary Coma.

My Brother had gotten that nasty Flu and RSV at the same time from being at the Hospital's ER with his Son, my Nephew for another procedure for his lower back Spine.
Yes it seem to pour when it rains for sure.
Now today all is ok again with what is left of my Family.
My Prayers to you and your father.
Jon J.

 

[OddRails]

John,

I'm so sorry that you and your brother have had to endure these present and past losses.

I'm sorry that your father's dementia included the difficult negative aspects of that condition.

Our family was luckier. Mom had some decline in cognition, but died from another cause before reaching your father's condition.

I'm fourth of five kids ranging from 89 to 68 from two marriages. Mom out lived both husbands. We've lost all of the prior generation except one aunt. Soon enough we'll be losing siblings, but we've been lucky so far.

I hope that you and your brother can continue to bolster and encourage each other through these terrible losses.

Dave

 

[J3M]

Bonsoir JCitron,

Toutes mes pensées pour vous et votre famille.
Et surtout, avec vous pour ces moments difficiles.

Alex du VALAIS.

 

[JCitron]

Bonsoir JCitron,

Toutes mes pensées pour vous et votre famille.
Et surtout, avec vous pour ces moments difficiles.

Alex du VALAIS.

Merci, Alex.

 

[maxwerks]

I don't know what I can say that will make things better, John -- probably nothing, really. Just know that there are a lot of us around the world who are thinking about you and your family and wishing you all better times ahead.

 

[JCitron]

I don't know what I can say that will make things better, John -- probably nothing, really. Just know that there are a lot of us around the world who are thinking about you and your family and wishing you all better times ahead.

Thank you, Max. We're getting along now. It's been a tough road but there's nothing we can do otherwise. We realize that's part of life's cycle and looking back we saw things occurring but were too close to "see them" play out until afterwards. We also realize that it was my sisters that dragged our parents down through their actions which I won't go into details here about, at least in public.

Anyway, we're focusing on the better times and positive things such as Trainzing, music, and other hobbies rather than what happened because there isn't anything we can do about it except fret over it and make us mad, and glum over the circumstances. Live goes on as they say.

 

[hiawathamr]

I'm sorry to hear about your losts John.
I'll be praying for better times ahead.

God Bless you.

 

[JimDep]

Sometimes it feels like we're being punished. This mess actually started last year and it hasn't ended yet.

My father turned 90 on December 1st and said to me that he wasn't going to live much longer. He was going blind, felt as if he was losing his mind, wasn't eating as much and had some odd behaviors including hallucinations. I had scheduled a neurology appointment but he never made it.

Shortly after Christmas, his legs swelled due to not elevating his legs as his GP directed and the blisters got infected and required treatment. After consulting his GP, I was told to take him to the emergency room (A&E) instead. He was admitted, much to his chagrin, where he stayed for a week. My brother and I drove 10 miles each way multiple times a day and saw him resist treatment and fight the nurses. He went as far as to throw his food, pull out intravenous needles, and refuse his normal medication. They released him and sent him to a nearby rest home and rehabilitation center to gain strength enough to come home, sadly he didn't make it.

While at the rest home, he contracted Covid-19, ended up back at another hospital for 5-days and returned to the rehabilitation center to continue to get strong enough to come home. Again, he refused to eat and threw his mediation around.

On February 22nd, he Facetimed with my sister, who was in the hospital due to an ongoing sepsis infection. She passed that afternoon. We had to tell him because if he came home, he would've looked for her and we would have to tell him anyway. After that, he closed his eyes and kept saying both girls are gone - we lost another sister in 2017, and that was it. He passed away on February 1st after not eating or drinking for the prior week.

It's been one horrible mess that never ends. My sister's ex-husband absconded shortly after their marriage. My niece, who just turned 18, had to sign the papers for her mother's care, can't retrieve her from the hospital because Ex-hubby is still the next of kin. Contacting Ex-hubby has been a fruitless effort so far, so my sister is stuck in limbo.

Let's hope after this elephant-sized hump is out of the way, things fall into a near-normal routine again.

Hi John, I'm just reading this now for the 1st time and of course I had no idea you were going through all this. I can't imagine how tough all this is, all happening one after the other in a relatively short time period....which really makes it tough. God bless you and your family and I'm impressed how well you're able to cope and keep your sanity.

 

[G.M.]

Hi John, sorry for you great loss
only read this now, a week a go i was with my mother of 94
and she told me her body is just broken, used up and she wants no more
so in a few months..
Anyway wish you strength in these day and may your music pull you through
greetings GM

 

[JCitron]

Hi John, I'm just reading this now for the 1st time and of course I had no idea you were going through all this. I can't imagine how tough all this is, all happening one after the other in a relatively short time period....which really makes it tough. God bless you and your family and I'm impressed how well you're able to cope and keep your sanity.

Thank you, Jim. We were waiting for the inevitable, I hate to say it, but didn't expect both at once.

 

[JCitron]

Hi John, sorry for you great loss
only read this now, a week a go i was with my mother of 94
and she told me her body is just broken, used up and she wants no more
so in a few months..
Anyway wish you strength in these day and may your music pull you through
greetings GM

Thank you, GM. Music has been my go-to through this. I hope what she says is only words...

 

[ricomon35]

Thank you, Max. We're getting along now. It's been a tough road but there's nothing we can do otherwise. We realize that's part of life's cycle and looking back we saw things occurring but were too close to "see them" play out until afterwards. We also realize that it was my sisters that dragged our parents down through their actions which I won't go into details here about, at least in public.

Anyway, we're focusing on the better times and positive things such as Trainzing, music, and other hobbies rather than what happened because there isn't anything we can do about it except fret over it and make us mad, and glum over the circumstances. Live goes on as they say.

It's too bad we can't cuss on this forum.
If I lived near you, we could both have some good hard ranting to help deal with our dad's and family stuff.

 

[JCitron]

It's too bad we can't cuss on this forum.
If I live near you, we could both have some good hard ranting to help deal with our dad's and family stuff.

We sure could. There' so much to tell between us.

 

[rick1958]

@JCitron
Hey John, Somehow I missed this thread. I'm so sorry for you and the other posters. You and the others here aren't alone. I lost my dad last May from untreated diabetes. He was 88. My mom's 86 and her memory is fading fast, Then, at home, I am the sole caregiver for my wife who is fully disabled due to Alzheimers, Parkinson;s and a wheelbarrow of other issues. I've been caring for her for years, but the last month or so, it seems her symptoms are worsening daily. Whenever the topic comes up, I always say, whoever qouted "Grow old gracefully" apparently never did it.
Only the best wishes to you and the others here as we carry on, picking up the pieces along the way.

 

[JCitron]

@JCitron
Hey John, Somehow I missed this thread. I'm so sorry for you and the other posters. You and the others here aren't alone. I lost my dad last May from untreated diabetes. He was 88. My mom's 86 and her memory is fading fast, Then, at home, I am the sole caregiver for my wife who is fully disabled due to Alzheimers, Parkinson;s and a wheelbarrow of other issues. I've been caring for her for years, but the last month or so, it seems her symptoms are worsening daily. Whenever the topic comes up, I always say, whoever qouted "Grow old gracefully" apparently never did it.
Only the best wishes to you and the others here as we carry on, picking up the pieces along the way.

Thank you, Rick. I wish you the best of luck also. PD and Alzheimers is a double whammy. I have PD but not bad yet with the meds keeping things under pretty good control. I can't imagine what it is like for her with both.

I agree growing old gracefully isn't how it is. Life is fun.

 

[rick1958]

Thank you, Rick. I wish you the best of luck also. PD and Alzheimers is a double whammy. I have PD but not bad yet with the meds keeping things under pretty good control. I can't imagine what it is like for her with both.

I agree growing old gracefully isn't how it is. Life is fun.

The PD is "Medically induced Parkinsons" from two meds from two docs that never should have be given together. Her tremors will never go away, but they wont get worse. Then came the Alz which is carving away at her more and more each day. She's now pretty much fully disabled living in her world of hallucinations. If there is any mercy, it's the fact she's not in any pain.
Anyway, all we can do is play the cards we're dealt. Now back to your regularly scheduled program...