What is a friend?

[ray_whiley]

No, this is not the start of a philosophical discussion! I would just like to know what is implied by being a 'friend' in the Trainz community. In my five and a bit years with the forums I've seen references to Buddy Lists etc. but have never known what this meant or what might be expected of a friend - and now that I've received my first request to be one, I would just like to know!

Incidentally, I regard all forum contributors as friends, in an informal way!

Ray

 

[oknotsen]

You can change some settings of your profile to only be vissible or possible for people in your "friends" list.

 

[mezzoprezzo]

Thanks for raising this Ray.

I too have struggled to understand how this works, or is meant to work.

I’ve had three requests and have neither accepted or rejected them. That might appear rude but is not intended to be, so I put up a message in my profile (which I’ve set for Registered members only to read) explaining the reason for the lack of response so far. That seemed marginally better than a broadcast saying “No friends” which is the line some have taken.

I can’t yet see the added value of a specific “Friends” feature. It leaves an uncomfortable feeling that you might be seen to be rejecting someone if you say no, or are even hesitant.

This feature has introduced an unasked for ethos into the Forum which, I’m guessing, a lot of us can’t understand.

The Forum abounds with helpfulness, good humour and friendship already within the threads. This is supplemented with the facility for Private Messaging and the ability to email via the Forum as well as direct emailing outside of the Forum interface, where friendly communication can take place.


Thus far, I just don’t get it.

Cheers
Casper

Friendly, but confused!

 

[ray_whiley]

Thanks, Casper, this is really helpful and I think I will follow your lead. I'll have a look at my profile to see how to include a similar message to yours. I've certainly made some good friends around the world through the forums, as well as a few with whom I exchange emails either regularly or as the need arises.

Ray

A little more help, please, Casper - I've just had a look at my profile and I'm not sure how to a) put up the kind of message you described or b) restrict viewing to registered members only. This is all new to me! Trainz Veteran should really read Trainz Octogenarian ...

 

[clam1952]

It's a default vBulletin forum feature appears on many forums that use the same software and I presume a step towards the social networking nightmare that exists on Farcebook etc. You can turn, off email friend requests in preferences general settings as you can also stop messages being added to your profile, these can be limited to friends only by the way. All seems a bit pointless when we have pm's anyway.

 

[mezzoprezzo]

Friends

~snip~A little more help, please, Casper - I've just had a look at my profile and I'm not sure how to a) put up the kind of message you described or b) restrict viewing to registered members only. This is all new to me! Trainz Veteran should really read Trainz Octogenarian ...

Hi Ray.

a) To get a message into your own My Profile message box:

Top right of Forum screen select My Profile>select Visitors Messages tab>Write your message in the blank box>Click on Post Message

This should send your message to yourself. Although it looks a bit like the PM message box method it’s a bit of a shorter route in that you aren’t selecting who you send it to; the system sends it directly to the person whose profile you are in. For the purposes of this exercise you therefore need to make sure that you are in your own profile.


b) To restrict who views your details:

Top right of Forum screen select Settings. On left of screen, in the box headed My Settings select Profile Privacy. You’ll then see seven dropdown menu boxes where you can select which groups you wish to have access to your information. I set all of mine to Registered Members; I’ve never felt comfortable with any old lurker having access to what I reveal about myself.

I’d be a dead loss on MyTwitFace!

Cheers
Casper

 

[oknotsen]

b) restrict viewing to registered members only

See the link in my first reply in this topic.

 

[leeferr]

I have also been a little confused over this friend thing. I've got a request now that I haven't responded to because I just don't know enough about it. I don't want to reject anyone, but PM's and emails are good enough for me. I've never been one for all of this digital social networking thing.

Mike

 

[PEV]

It's all a load of rubbish as far as I am concerned.

Like celebs who have a million friends on Facebook. What a crock.....

I will not be accepting any friend requests.. Any one who wishes to contact me can PM or email.. I am always happy to talk Trainz with like minded people.

One for the Grumpy Old Men eh???

 

[Euphod]

That seemed marginally better than a broadcast saying “No friends” which is the line some have taken.

Why should my virtual life be any different from my actual life?

 

[davesnow]

It's all a load of rubbish as far as I am concerned.

Like celebs who have a million friends on Facebook. What a crock.....

I will not be accepting any friend requests.. Any one who wishes to contact me can PM or email.. I am always happy to talk Trainz with like minded people.

One for the Grumpy Old Men eh???

My sentiments exactly, Peter.

And yes, I'm a grumpy old man, too.


Dave Snow

 

[Propeller]

I fully agree Peter V but, I would rather be know as a curmudgeon in training.

It's all a load of rubbish as far as I am concerned.

Like celebs who have a million friends on Facebook. What a crock.....

I will not be accepting any friend requests.. Any one who wishes to contact me can PM or email.. I am always happy to talk Trainz with like minded people.

One for the Grumpy Old Men eh???

 

[Retro00064]

<snip>

I’d be a dead loss on MyTwitFace!

Cheers
Casper

LMHO!

I've accepted all the friend requests that I have received. I agree that it is a feature that ventures into the social networking realm, but what harm could it do? The number of friend requests you have received could be an indicator of how major/popular a forum member you are (which isn't important; what matters is your friendliness and contributions to the forum and community). And who wouldn't want to be your "friend", Casper?

As for Farcebook and Twit-ter (LOL!), I am not a member of either (or any social networking site), and have no interest in becoming so and thus succumbing to the disease and plague that has enslaved the world. Those around here who are likewise not members of Facebook or Twitter may feel free to display this image:



Regards,

Zachary.

 

[PEV]

The number of friend requests you have received could be an indicator of how major/popular a forum member you are (which isn't important; what matters is your friendliness and contributions to the forum and community).

Gosh, who cares.. I'm not so insecure that I need the statistics on my friend count..

And Zachary the no parking signs are spot on..

All this is great fun... but aren't we showing our age???

 

[mezzoprezzo]

Friends Re-untied

~snip~ And who wouldn't want to be your "friend", Casper? ~snip~

Me. I used to really enjoy my own company, until we fell out!


...
Zachary,

You also need one of those for MySpace for it to be totally effective!

Cheers
Casper

 

[ray_whiley]

Thanks for all the replies - an interesting response! Are we all 'grumpy old men' - or just people who have learned what true value is?

'Si jeunesse savait, si vieillesse pouvait' - Henri Estienne, 1531-1596. ('If the young knew- if the old could') Fortunately, with Trainz, those of more mature years can. I was recently described as a 'recycled teenager'.

Thanks especially to you, Casper, for your advice on amending my profile. This will be done!

Ray

 

[cascaderailroad]

A friend is someone that can bother you at any time of the day or night, and you still find it possible to ignore (tolerate) them ... one who eats up all your chips, and you then pop the empty mylar bag of crumbs in their face, and they laugh and don't care ... but if your friend steals all the KFC chicken skin crispies offa' the whole bucket of chicken ... ya' tip their brew a tad up at more of an angle, when they are drinking, and give em' a wet shirt ... Haaaa !

 

[gearhead2578]

A friend is someone that can bother you at any time of the day or night, and you still find it possible to ignore (tolerate) them ... one who eats up all your chips, and you then pop the empty mylar bag of crumbs in their face, and they laugh and don't care ... but if your friend steals all the KFC chicken skin crispies offa' the whole bucket of chicken ... ya' tip their brew a tad up at more of an angle, when they are drinking, and give em' a wet shirt ... Haaaa !

No doubt!! I'm a social network hater as well - my sister showed up here in town and I had to yell at her for posting pics of us every 5 min from her "smart" phone on Facebook (she's 12 yrs younger) Social networking to me is calling the guys over, starting a fire, popping open a bottle and hanging out till the wee hours.......... those are my friends
:Y::Y:

 

[RRSignal]

Thirded; I don't see any value in Facebook and even less in Twitter. So, yes, we're talking negative value here lol!

 

[maruffijd]

A friend is someone that can bother you at any time of the day or night, and you still find it possible to ignore (tolerate) them ... one who eats up all your chips, and you then pop the empty mylar bag of crumbs in their face, and they laugh and don't care ... but if your friend steals all the KFC chicken skin crispies offa' the whole bucket of chicken ... ya' tip their brew a tad up at more of an angle, when they are drinking, and give em' a wet shirt ... Haaaa !

To me, a friend is someone who will post bail at 3 in the morning without question. Just to expand this discussion, a best friend will be sitting in the holding cell with you saying "Wasn't that fun?"