For my birthday I got Bells Palsey, and a dollar store magnifying glass, that don't magnify ... and a dinner at Joes Cwabby Shack, where they cooked the schwimpies with the legs and shell still on, didn't clean out the bloodline poop shute, and the footies and shells were impossible to pull off, and they were crunch, sandy, and wubberry tough.
But the beer was icy cold and only $8.95 a glass ... drank 3 of them ... ate 125 schwimpies ... ordered more biscuits
The perfect gift you can give someone you really care about fer' their birfday', one they will remember fer' a lifetime, is a case of Clap beer, laryngitis, and chicken pox ... then say to them: "Don't ever say that I never gave you anything" !