Farewell to a good friend

Dear Angela,

I was really saddened when I read your letter about your Alan. It was lovely to read about the happines that the two of you shared.

My thoughts are with you.


john

Thank you

JWEwan said:

Dear Angela,

I was really saddened when I read your letter about your Alan. It was lovely to read about the happines that the two of you shared.

My thoughts are with you.


john

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Dear John,
Thank you for putting a post up, all posts are treasured and appreciated.
I actually ate something this afternoon when I was asked to a friend's for lunch and that also gave me time for a long chat with two wonderful people.

Angela

Angela

Having read your initial post, I was moved, by the love and affection which came through and the spirit which you have shown in what must be an awful time.

My wife and I have been together for about 20 years also, and in that time we have shared many ups and downs but we are closer now than ever.

She is my wife, my love and my best friend and obviously you and Alan had that loving relationship too

Remember and cherish those times, time will heal the pain.

My condolences, thoughts and prayers are with you at this time

Chris

A reply to all

chrisw27 said:

Angela

Having read your initial post, I was moved, by the love and affection which came through and the spirit which you have shown in what must be an awful time.

My wife and I have been together for about 20 years also, and in that time we have shared many ups and downs but we are closer now than ever.

She is my wife, my love and my best friend and obviously you and Alan had that loving relationship too

Remember and cherish those times, time will heal the pain.

My condolences, thoughts and prayers are with you at this time

Chris

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I know I have not replied to all the posts, but I have and do appreciate them. They have moved me and shown how kindly total strangers can be, and I thank you all for that.
I think I have had a 'moment' over the weekend. By that I mean the realisation that poor Alan had suffered so much and was in such terrible pain that I knew it could not go on. Looking at the photographs of him in the three days before his death the pain is plain to see and his constant grabbing the bed rails and sheets and tearing them away from him told the full story more than if he has spoken it, his whole being was in agony.
But after he departed his face changed to peace, all that had gone and although it seems maybe strange to say, I realise now that I am glad he is now a free soul.
He had suffered one way or another for 6 years but moreso over the last one, the indignities, humilliations and loss of any form of a decent lifestyle. During the last two weeks I organised everything I could, old acquaintances came to visit, a dog he was particularly fond of and I ran as many of his favourite films as I could. He lived a lot in that short time.
But the cancer he had was a very aggressive type and made rapid progress over the three days he spent in Charing Cross hospital with the result we all now know.
As sad as that is, I do have so many wonderful memories of our 20 years of togetherness during which we were only parted by the two short hospital stays that were forced upon him.
He rarely complained and was so incredibly brave about everything.
Now I will make an album of not only our time together but from as far back as I can, get this home back to the way it was while he was fit and able and then perhaps his spirit will return and watch over me.

Thank you all on this and the UKTrainz forum for everything said and offers of help passed. You are truly a great community.

My love to you all,

Angela

God is not responsible for the suffering......God is responsible for the endurance of the pain.
God did not afflict your love with illness.....He instilled your love with the resilience to fight it.
God did not take your love's life......He allowed your love to cling to life until he was ready to relinquish it.
God did not visit upon you this horrible grief.....God held your love's hand and called you to his bed when it was time for him to leave.
God did not tear your life to shreds.....He filled it to overflowing with the time you had together.
God did not abandon you....He is here, in these responses, in your cherished memories, in the love you have shared.

My eldest sister died several years ago; she was a diabetic. She suffered through enormous challenges as the disease progressed. She also had cancer, and lost a breast because of it. She fought and fought, and put up a brave front always. She was a joy, always. In the end they took her legs. She died several days later.

I like to think that those who face horrific challenges are so powerful in themselves that they cannot lie back and rest on the Lord, until the challenge becomes just too overwhelming to master on their own. I imagine God calming their fears, kissing their brow and whispering "Now I will take care of you, I will restore you. Lay down your sword and let me take you away, you have fought well and brave but now it's time to rest."

Thank you for giving me this opportunity to remember, and love, and mourn my dear sister again.

God is here. Right here.

Ed

Dear Angelah,

So very sorry for your tragic loss.
It was a very moving post and i took comfort in knowing you have a very special relationship with your man.

My deepest condolences to you in this difficult time.

I know what it is like to loose someone so close.

My son was born many years ago and given back within minutes of his arrival. I barely had time to even know him let alone share so many things with him as you have with your life's partner.

Cherish the memories, and know they are all in a better place waiting for us to join them once again.

Dear Angelah

Please except my deepest condolences for your loss.

Regards,
Ron

Dear angelah,

I too was saddened to hear of your loss, but heartened to read of the special bond you had with Alan.

May he rest in peace and may you be comforted in the knowledge that you are in the thoughts and prayers of your many friends here.

Lance.

Oh dear, Angelah... I'm deeply saddened to hear of your loss. But, I'm glad you had such a wonderful partner in life. And, he too was lucky to have you right by his side.

May God Bless You and Give You Strength and Peace.

Sincerely,
Todd

Dear angelah

Many years ago a very close friend of mine died, my cat Rocky, for a very long time I was quite distraught for he had been my cat ever since I was born. But later now I look at the photographs, the memories, and an old video of him chasing the model train as it ran around the living room floor and I realize all is not lost. He may be no more physically but he still remains with me as a cherished memory not to be forgotten. May it be that you remember your partner the same way, God bless you angelah.

WileeCoyote

Prayer and Blessings at

this difficult time AngelaH

Warwick

Dear Angela

My deepest condolence to you and my thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.

Ahsan

Be comforted in knowing that he is still in your thoughts and memories, as long as you keep him in your heart he will never truly be gone.
The Lord bless you and your family in this time of sadness.

Euphod said:

God is not responsible for the suffering......God is responsible for the endurance of the pain.
God did not afflict your love with illness.....He instilled your love with the resilience to fight it.
God did not take your love's life......He allowed your love to cling to life until he was ready to relinquish it.
God did not visit upon you this horrible grief.....God held your love's hand and called you to his bed when it was time for him to leave.
God did not tear your life to shreds.....He filled it to overflowing with the time you had together.
God did not abandon you....He is here, in these responses, in your cherished memories, in the love you have shared.

My eldest sister died several years ago; she was a diabetic. She suffered through enormous challenges as the disease progressed. She also had cancer, and lost a breast because of it. She fought and fought, and put up a brave front always. She was a joy, always. In the end they took her legs. She died several days later.

I like to think that those who face horrific challenges are so powerful in themselves that they cannot lie back and rest on the Lord, until the challenge becomes just too overwhelming to master on their own. I imagine God calming their fears, kissing their brow and whispering "Now I will take care of you, I will restore you. Lay down your sword and let me take you away, you have fought well and brave but now it's time to rest."

Thank you for giving me this opportunity to remember, and love, and mourn my dear sister again.

God is here. Right here.

Ed

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How perfectly put Ed, The suffering that we all sometimes go through is only there to strengthen us and give us hope.

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. You have my condolences. Perhaps someday we will see an end to this terrible disease!

Regards,

Lorin

A great bunch

While I am obviously distressed by my loss it has truly amazed me that I have had this kind of response from the great bunch on this forum.

I cannot thank you enough and can only say sorry if I haven't replied to each and every one of you personally. What I write in replies IS meant for you all.

Now dates are fixed there is and end in sight for this part of the journey, but it will go on for ever, there is no end to such a loss in one's heart

I am very lonely, I have to admit that and possibly not coping any too well with that aspect. I do have a friend coming to stay on Monday for a few days which will help, she is quite a rock for me.

And I have found so many great photographs today that I need to buy another album... I was concentrating too much on the last weeks but have now found joy in shots taken when we were enjoying life to the full. I even had to laugh at some, they were funny.

So to all those who have lost a loved one, especially recently, I say this, there is a way forward, it just takes time. I think I can see that route beginning to appear, it will be a slow walk towards it though.

And thank you all for being so kind and supportive, I needed it and got it from kindred spirits in Trainz.

Love to you all,

Angela

Losing loved ones is very tough, especially for the closest related.
Even losing a Family pet like i did was hard on me, 8yrs ago.
Mine, and my fathers dog Malachi, a Austrailian Sheppard was an awesome dog.
That dog was smart enough for you to scratch your initals into a rock, throw it into a ravine, and that dog would come back with that very rock. But as his life progressed on, his body began to fail on him. I he was deaf in both ears, blind in one eye, going blind in the other, and his hips failed him.
He had the will, courage and spirit to continue living, but his body wouldnt allow it.
I felt so sad after my father put him down, i cried for 3 days straight. it was tough on all of us.
Now, you being in a situation like this Angela, must be very hard for you.
I wish my most sincere condolences to you, and your loved ones family.
Its pretty sad seeing great people, just leave this world suddenly.

Very well Put Euphod. It sure is a time of greif.
Cheers,
Sean:'( :'(

Dear Angelah,
Very sad to hear hear of your loss.
Along with the whole Trainz community I share in your grief.
He has not gone but just peacefully sleeping.

DaveW

Dear Angelah

You have my deepest condolence.

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