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Bill69

Merry Christmas

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Please see below a Health and Safety warning for you all for the festive season.

During this festive season, anyone planning to dash through the snow in a one horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way, is advised that a Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open sleigh.

This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers. HR also advises against dashing and recommends a maximum speed of 25kph unless seat-belts are fitted.

Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from land-owners before their fields may be entered.

To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by anyone working as shepherds during this festive season, and planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks. This must be briefed to all shepherds and copies of signatures recorded.

The Angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last year’s well-publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr R Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various parts of the world, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to our bribery policy and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual.

It is particularly noted that direct gifts of gold are specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions, such as frankincense, myrrh and other well-known High Street body & bath oils.

Finally, in respect of the recent email from Reception, advising the discovery of an infant found tucked up in a manger without a crib for a bed, CYFs has been advised and will be arriving shortly.

Have a Merry Christmas and a Safe New Year.

Cheers,
Bill69
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Comments

  1. matruck's Avatar
    LMAO Merry Christmas Bill.
    Cheers Mick.